Marriage Tips from a Divorced Man

Instead of writing this post I found a great article that is from a divorced man who is sharing his 20 marriage tips everyone should know.

He hits the nail on the head and you’ll see that in the comments.  I could personally write/expand upon these tips for my own situation but if you are still married and don’t want to get divorced, I recommend reviewing this list.

http://www.viralnova.com/20-marriage-tips/

Please leave a comment to share your own ideas and thoughts surrounding the article about marriage tips from a divorced man.

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Help Me Save My Marriage After Infidelity

How to Save Marriage After Infidelity…

It is a fact that a big fraction of all married couples experience the pain of infidelity at one point in their lives. The affected couples may handle the situation in different ways. Some go through resentment, hatred for each other and they eventually divorce.

On the other hand, there are those couples that learn how to save marriage after infidelity and work on their relationship. It is not easy but at the end of it all the effort is worthwhile since the relationship becomes much stronger than it was initially. The journey of salvaging a marriage is not easy, both the husband and the wife are required to sacrifice and compromise regardless of who cheated on the other.

The Processing of Saving a Marriage After an Affair…

First, the cheating partner should end the extra marital affair immediately. Ensuring that all contacts are cut off and there is no possible link with the lover does the relationship a lot of good. If you are the unfaithful partner, you will be forgiven the first time but I doubt that your marriage will be mended once you are caught the second or the third time.

It takes time to heal the pain and calm down. Issues such as arguments about kids and money matters affect marriages but infidelity shakes the core foundation of the relationship. After discovery of infidelity, couples experience emotions such as fear, guilt, rejection and betrayal among others. Time heals wounds and so it takes some days or weeks to calm down and communicate to each other.

After cooling down you should talk to your partner with all honesty and respect. Reveal even what you think may worsen the situation. Talk about your thoughts and concerns. This will help in minimizing future problems.

If you are the unfaithful spouse, be remorseful and show regret. If the other spouse wants to know about the history, explain everything but if he / she is not interested, keep the details to yourself. If you are the victim, be willing to forgive. Rebuilding trust in the relationship is very critical. It might take several months or even years but that depends on your ability to spend time together with your spouse and talk about your emotions. Do not keep secrets from each other and with time trust will bounce back to your relationship.

Seeing a licensed marriage counselor is a great way to mend your marriage after an extra marital affair. Marital therapy comes in handy when you need a third party who is unbiased. He / she is able to identify your problems and offer guidance on how to save marriage after infidelity. The third party perspective may be what saves the relationship.

Finally…

Saving your marriage will also depend on your attitude if you are the victim. You have to believe that your situation must not culminate in divorce. Do not show any kind of desperation. Overcome the temptation to beg or manipulate the unfaithful partner. Resist from talking ill of the lover because he or she may develop the ‘us against the world’ attitude. Be firm and loving and things will turn around.

 

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How to Overcome Marriage Setbacks

How to Overcome Marriage Setbacks…

When you have stumbled in your marriage it can be difficult to overcome and get your marriage back on track. The severity of your infidelity or setback is going to greatly determine how your spouse is going to view you from that point onwards. Clearly, if your spouse is a spiteful and vengeful person then you may not ever get back into their good graces again.

The fact of that matter is that it takes two to truly overcome such a setback. If you don’t forgive yourself for what you did then it will poison the relationship forever. As well if your spouse is constantly bringing up your past wrong doing in every argument you may have then this will make the marriage intolerable.

Seeking out professional counseling may be the best first step to help you recover your relationship. There must have been some underlying reason why one person in the marriage cheated or did something else wrong. In order to build a better relationship onwards those feelings that have been hidden for so long must be brought to the surface.

Just keeping your feelings to yourself and then finding new ways to release them later on by cheating is just not very healthy and will definitely ruin your marriage. That is the reason why you ended up in this situation in the first place.

As well since many times relationships are hard to end smoothly it is important to keep that in mind if your spouse did cheat on you. Typically this means that your spouse will keep in contact with the other person for a variety of reasons. Now, this is just normal but there should be clear boundaries put into place so no more further cheating takes place.

Truly you cannot overcome an infidelity in the marriage without the complete removal of the person your spouse cheated on, that is just a fact. Once that relationship is finally over then you can start to truly mend what is broken. If however you still think that your spouse is cheating again then perhaps this setback is too much to overcome and you should seek out a different relationship.

It takes a lot of work to recover from an infidelity in a marriage. Quite honestly there are many who just are not willing to go through the work and just file for divorce. So if you are both considering taking on counseling and seeking out help then you should be applauded for your efforts.

Once both of you have committed to taking back your marriage after this setback you need to not look back and bring up past wrongs, rather just try and build up a better relationship going forward. For some couples an infidelity made their marriage stronger. Now some may interpret that statement that a cheating spouse could be a good thing for a marriage, nothing could be further from the truth.

Overcoming a marriage setback is something that many couples experience all over the world. While some may give up on their marriage it is always best to try and salvage a good relationship, the effort will be well worth it in the end.

Cheating is not the only setback that cause trouble in a marriage.  Lying, spending money secretly/improperly, stress of jobs and quality time together, changes in one spouse, and others.  Marriage is hard and there are many obstacles that can get in the way destroying the journey you took together.

Overcoming Marriage Setbacks Summary…

  • Communicating properly to discuss the issues at hand is critical – don’t be in denial.
  • Seeking outside advice or counseling if necessary should be part of the plan.
  • Setting up a plan to move forward together.
  • Setting guidelines and understanding each other can help greatly.
  • Committing to work on getting through the tough times together.
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Save Marriage Video Tips

Save Marriage Video Tips…

I put together a little video surrounding saving your marriage.  I know it will add value if you are looking to keep your marriage alive.

I’ve learned through divorce and now dating seriously again that relationships take a lot of work and they take the ability to truly get to know your significant other.

How well do you know your spouse? Heck how well do you know yourself?  We do things uunconsciously all the time, but do you ever think about the ways you react to things or how you communicate based on your beliefs and values?  Knowing these areas of you both can make your marriage not only last but reach all new levels.

So with that said, enjoy this save marriage tips video…

Learn expert strategies to get your ex back now!

 

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Can Five Love Languages Save a Marriage

Can Learning Your Spouses Love Language Save Your Marriage?

lovelanguages 300x300 Can Five Love Languages Save a MarriageI was told during my marriage that I needed to read this one book especially when times got a little rough and we started to discuss the potential for a divorce.

The book was about learning your and your significant others love language.  At the time I scoffed it off, but after some failed relationships, I decided that it was time to perhaps pick it up and read it.

I was at the bookstore one day and happened to come across it while searching for another book.  I thought what the heck, I will give it a shot and if I can learn to at least understand myself better, then perhaps it will help me grow and potentially have a successful relationship one day.  I asked the question can five love languages save a marriage?

What is The Five Love Languages About?

The book is an easy to read breakdown of what Dr. Gary Chapman through his years of working with couples states are the five major ways people express themselves and understand/respond through their relationships.  Each language would specifically relate to what you or I think is most important when we view how our significant other loves us.

This is done through receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, or physical touch.  Question…

Have you ever done something for your spouse and gotten excited about it yet they didn’t quite respond with the same level of excitement?  Or have they done something for you and the same thing happened whereby their feelings were hurt because of how you responded?

The book fantastically breaks down the reasons why this may happen.
Upon reading the book a lot of lightbulb moments went off in my head and it truly gave me a clear understanding on where I went right and wrong in my marriage.

Breakdown of Each Love Language…

  • Receiving Gifts:  This isn’t necessarily a material thing.  The person who receives the gift loves the fact that someone took time and thought to go out and get something for the person they love.  This shows the person receiving the gift that the other person loves them.  It shows that you are cared for and prized.  It could be something simple but it speaks volumes.
  • Quality Time: This isn’t just being together.  It is providing your undivided attention to your spouse.  This only works when everything else is turned off, put aside, and so forth to make the person who speaks this language to truly feel special and loved.  The way to ensure you hurt this person is to act distracted or cancel time together.
  • Words of Affirmation: Simple compliments or reiterations about you feel makes this person feel completely loved and wanted.  For this person it isn’t necessarily your actions, but instead the words that you use that makes them know you love them.  This can go in the negative direction with insults or not choosing your words properly when trying to discuss a matter that is bothering either of you.
  • Acts of Service: Can doing housework to help out actually speak volumes to someone?  Yes sir!  Taking control and initiative by doing things for the other person will clearly indicate to them the love you feel.  It may not make sense to you but it does for these people.  Don’t be lazy or make more work for them – this will have the opposite effect.
  • Physical Touch: I think many people can understand this one, but realize it is not all about the bedroom.  Hugs, holding hands, snuggling, touches here and there, kissing often and others can all show attraction, excitement, and care.  Not doing these things can simply be devastating for the person whereby they feel rejected and lose confidence.

In Summary…

What is your love language?  Find out not only yours but your significant others as you proceed forward.  This could really open up a new, exciting door of adventure, exploration, and understanding thereby taking your relationship to the next level and/or saving your marriage from divorce.

Can five love languages save a marriage?  Can it save your marriage? It has helped countless marriages and can do so for you as well!

If you need further consultation then get yourself into see a professional so they can help you further understand not only these but other issues you are having in your relationship be sure to find a therapist or other professional who can help.


Powered by Good Therapy

Best of Luck,

Joe

Can Five Love Languages Save a Marriage

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Expert Advice on Marriage and Divorce

Tony Robbins Shares Divorce and Saving of Marriage Tips…

Upon struggling with various relationship issues recently I was wondering if a marriage that has hit the brink could really be saved?  So I went out looking for expert advice on marriage that could truly help a couple come back from the brink of divorce.

You’ve come to the conclusions and built so many beliefs and thoughts over a period of time that has gotten you to the point where perhaps a divorce is the only option.

You’re down, frustrated, angry, sad, and experiencing other emotions that can really spiral out of control in a hurry.  What I found myself wondering as I thought back to my marriage and going through all these various phases of emotions is how could an expert save a marriage?  Is it possible?

So I was scouring the web and YouTube and came across a couple of videos by Tony Robbins, one of my favorite peak performance experts, who I’ve followed for years by listening and reading his materials surrounding total life fulfillment including relationships and wondered if his expertise would help someone like you or I get back on track in our marriages and save them.

I came across a couple of clips that you might find interesting to determine if an expert could save a marriage that has hit rock bottom where divorce is what they believe to be the only way out…

Turn Around Your Troubled Marriage…

 

 

Tony Robbins does do full fledged seminars and I also recommend picking up his Get the Edge Course Expert Advice on Marriage and Divorce and utilize all of it to not only help you succeed in the relationship section of your life but all other areas as well.  Tell us below if he or any other relationship and marriage expert has helped you.

That’s it for today.  Remember if you need instant help and want an affordable solution to safe your marriage then pick up the course we’ve been recommending all along.  With a money back guarantee you have nothing to lose.

Best Regards,

Joe

How to Save Your Marriage

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Is Your Marriage Worth Saving

Is Your Marriage Worth Saving?

avoiddivorce 300x300 Is Your Marriage Worth SavingThis is an important question to ask as you venture down this ever challenging road that you are now facing in your relationship.

A certain amount of time has passed whether that be months, years, etc. that has you debating whether or not salvaging the marriage is worth it.

You are about to pay a price no matter which route you go.  That is the utmost, honest answer that anyone can give you.

There is a lot to lose either way you go, but at the end of the day there are many valid reasons why a couple should call it a day and follow through with a divorce.

Here are a few reasons getting a divorce may be the only option to take…

Abuse. Physical and verbal abuse can be a true reason it is time to get out.  This is not an easy personality issue to overcome.  I have honestly seen it first hand where a husband was able to, with a lot of work, overcome abuse.  It took a toll long term and the wife had every right to leave multiple times, but they stuck it out.  However, don’t live in denial and don’t protect the person providing the abuse.  You have to be real honest with yourself and get out if it means your safety or those around you.

Cheating/Infidelity.  This has always been a real deal breaker for me.  Sure there are open couples out there with open relationships, but the majority of us just don’t believe in running around on our spouse.  Can you overcome this and save your marriage?  Absolutely and again I have witnessed it first hand, but if you are the type of person that doesn’t think you can get past this, then move on.  Now if you are going to work it out don’t let your cheating spouse walk all over you.  If it is going to work it is time to buck up for you both and work your butts off.

Control.  Control doesn’t seem like a major issue but boy when someone has your balls in a vice, it can really effect the quality of your life, relationships, decisions, and every other aspect.  Control can seem meaningless or it can really be horrible.  Example.  I’ve seen spouses not let the other do anything without explanation, checking in, complaint, etc.  It becomes one negative, non-trustworthy situation after another.  One spouse literally controls every aspect of the other spouse’s life.  Not healthy.

You just weren’t meant to be together.  Some marriages came together for all the wrong reasons.  They should never have happened in the first place.  Lack of knowledge of each other, had a child together, thought the initial excitement phase would last, and other reasons.  Sometimes you just have to admit that getting married wasn’t the right choice.  Marriage doesn’t solve problems, it only makes you face whether or not you were right for each other in the first place by taking on life together.

Listen there are a ton of reasons people get married. There are a ton of reasons people get divorced.  The bottom line is you have to ask yourselves is your marriage worth saving?  If you cannot figure out at least one reason it should be worth working on (extreme circumstances or not), then perhaps getting a divorce is the best route to go.

If you are truly wanting to save your marriage and you have answered yes to the question is your marriage worth saving, then you need to take action and perhaps get help immediately.

Best of luck,

Joe

Save Your Marriage Today

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How to Save Your Marriage

Immediately…

I’ve come across an exciting solution for people desiring to learn how to save your marriage ASAP!

There are a lot of solutions on the market when it comes to getting your ex back or saving your marriage, but there is one that really stood out to me.  Let me tell you why…

There are so many emotions and decisions to make if you or your spouse has decided and informed that a divorce is the only option going forward.  You feel like you are in a whirlwind and life is spinning out of control really quick.

Don’t lose all hope just yet.  Marriages can be saved no matter how far along you are in the divorce process.  The key is to understand that what has been going on in your relationship – something(s) are just not working.  It is time to stop what you are doing, get off the hamster wheel, and figure out a new path.

Get to the bottom of what’s really going on.  What is causing these thoughts, what are creating the issues, how to stop them dead, and actually start to move forward.

Turn things around and create a positive, loving environment – the one you envisioned having together when you got married.

Listen you are not alone.  People bounce back all the time from marital issues.  Perhaps one or more of these explain your situation…

  • Affairs
  • Abuse
  • Fighting
  • Lack of communication
  • No physical attraction
  • Love is gone
  • Don’t understand each other

However, marriages can and have been saved!  Now if that is what you truly want and are willing to work at it.  I recommend you picking up a proven system to get the marriage back on track quickly.

You could set up appointments with counselors.  This is highly recommended but isn’t for everyone and can get expensive.

If you are searching for a cheaper solution, check out the course that I wished I had and I know has helped others on how to save their own marriages.

Here is a sneak peak at what is in Amy’s system…

  • Uncover the key indicators as to why your marriage is slowly dying and how to fix them immediately.
  • How to discover the top ways to communicate with your spouse and understand their needs, wants, and desires.
  • How to stop cheating dead in its tracks.
  • How arguing can actually be wonderful for your marriage and how to handle arguments properly.
  • The true secrets of what a loving and fulfilling relationship are and how to obtain those easily.
  • And more.

This is the tip of the iceberg.  How to save your marriage at this point is going to take work and a proven set of steps and situations in order to do so properly.

Amy even offers a sweet Free report just for joining her mailing list that shares common reasons for divorce that can be very beneficial in your steps in saving the marriage – must identify the problems first to fix them right!

Be sure to check out Amy’s how to save your marriage today system and come back and report on how it is helping you via comments or stories.

Best of luck,

Joe

How-To-Save-Your-Marriage.org

 

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How to Save Your Marriage Today

How to Save Your Marriage Today – Expert Tips and Advice…

stopdivorce 300x300 How to Save Your Marriage TodayDo you want to save your marriage?  Are you seeking out advice & tips in order to do so?  Are you at the point of no return about to lose all hope that there is any chance to salvage all you’ve worked for?

I have been at the point you may be right now.  Down, close to hopeless, been fighting to salvage things for so long that you are ready to give up.

Listen you can still save your marriage today.  As we always indicate it will take some work, some effort, some potential changes, but if saving your marriage is what you truly want, then it can happen.

We are going to share tips to save your marriage.  What you do with them after that is up to you.

Top Tips for Helping You Save Your Marriage Now…

First, Get professional help.  With that said you can’t just rely on them to make your marriage work.

They can help you identify problems, set up channels of communication, root you on, and get you on the right track before divorce is the only option.  However, you have to meet them half way and follow through with their suggestions.  If you don’t like their advice, get a different opinion.

If you don’t want to end in divorce here is what some experts recommend and what I can recommend based on experience…

-Have a goal as a couple.  Get out of your head on how things are, should be, etc.  Marriage takes some compromise and working together.  You have to come together and set some goals on how you both see your marriage being.

-Take a look at your story.  What is your story of marriage?  What is your spouses?  Do they differ?  What about values, rules, and other important aspects one holds near and dear to their heart?  Example.  Do you value personal space?  Do you like to do things on your own sometimes?  On the other hand you wife values quality time together and doesn’t understand why you would want personal time.  This causes major strife, fights, and leads to the comment, we just don’t understand each other.  First understanding your stories and perhaps making changes can really make a huge difference.

-Are you willing to put fear, ego, pride, and other strong signals/feelings aside to look and dive deep into your relationship?  There will be obstacles, negativity, situations of looking in the mirror and being honest with yourself.  Are you able to handle that?  Many people can’t do that and would rather just call it quits than face the fact that they have problems and flaws.  Listen if you don’t face them now you will take your issues to someone else and end up having problems with that relationship as well.

-You are going to have to put in motivation, action, work, thought, and more to make your relationship work.  Things got to this point over time and it will take time to get it back.  But baby steps and taking action each day towards your goals will create momentum. With momentum and action you’ll get positive reactions and excitement.  It builds and builds until you reach new highs and realize that things are starting to click.  The early phases are the hardest because you tend to be out of your comfort zones.

-Invest in your relationship.  Money may be tight but find a way (humans have a way to figure it out when they want it bad enough).  Get professional help. Set money aside for date nights, little gifts, or other things that would help.  Think back to when you first met the other person.  We all do it especially as men.  We will spend money we know we don’t have or get as creative as we can to win that woman over.  It is time to get back to those fundamentals and do so again.  You don’t have to go broke, but have to invest in your relationship if you wish to save it.

-Personal recommendation – learn your spouses love language.  If you don’t know that that means, then check into the book the 5 Love Languages.  One of the best, yet simple books to read on how to pinpoint where issues lie and how to understand your mate.  From there you will want to get additional assistance or learn more, but it is a great start.  It will enable you to open the lines love toward your spouse by communicating (verbal and non) in the ways they understand.

To Reiterate How to Save Your Marriage Now…

These tips are not new.  They come from years of expert advice, reading, learning, taking action and more.  Relationships take work. They are one part of the life – fulfillment process and that means they are an ongoing experience that we must continue to understand, learn from, make mistakes, grow, take action towards goals, and more.

There are all sorts of tips and recommendations out there.  They all tend to lead down the same path – work hard, open up, communicate, learn, grow, and realize that your marriage is a journey of discovery.  It is one that will take time to heal if it has gotten this far.  It is something that will end up being unique for you and your spouse.

But the ride back to a healthy marriage could be an amazing one and you may be surprised at what you discover in the process.  I guarantee if you have the gulls to work at this you will find out one of two things.  Either you aren’t meant to be together and you can look back and say you gave it everything you had.  Or, you rediscover the person you fell in love with in the first place and reach deeper levels than ever before solidifying the marriage forever.

 

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How to Save Your Marriage and Avoid Divorce

Ways to Save Your Marriage…

savemarriagetoday 300x300 How to Save Your Marriage and Avoid DivorceDo you want to learn how to save your marriage?  Do you want to stop divorce if you are headed that route?  This is not going to be an easy process but the good news is it is doable.

Listen if you are reading this article then things in your marriage have gotten rough.  There are many reasons for this.  It could be minor areas that have built up over time.  Fallen out of love, struggle due to a rut, arguing consistently with little passion, no time for each other anymore, the same old boring routines, and more.  Areas where communication breaks down, understanding each other has become impossible, and so forth can really create a slow death to a marriage.

Major areas such as abuse, affairs, and others can devastate a marriage in a hurry.  However, there is still help if something is done about these major items immediately.  Don’t ever give up hope if you truly want to learn how to save your marriage.

Every marriage hits a rough spot occasionally.  And while not every marriage should attempt to be salvaged, a great many more than are saved today should and can be through concerted efforts. These efforts can take your and your spouses desire to make some changes, take a leap of faith again, trust in a process that will get you on the right path, and other actions that must be taken during this process.

The first step in how to save your marriage is to realize there is a problem that has gotten you to this point. Your relationship as hit a breaking point that needs addressed ASAP and if it doesn’t you will be on your way to divorce.

Before you go driving yourself insane with areas that need fixed, changed, or whatever realize there is help out there and if you are willing and able to put in some time and commitment,  you can make your marriage work – even when you think you’ve hit the end of the road.  Don’t give up hope and begin justifying why you should give up (you will do this because giving up at this point is an easier decision).

What Can I Do to Salvage My Marriage?

First and foremost you both must get real.  You must be honest and open and put all pride/ego aside to realize that your going to have to face and talk with each other, conquer demons perhaps, overcome hangups and issues, and work together to move forward.

A great step is to being with talking to someone – a professional, a clergyman, or trusted friend.  Having a third party with expertise, strong values, and and outside look in can really help you realize where things have went wrong.  Again you must and I say must be open to the fact that you both will be put under a microscope and have to face the reality of your situation and actions.

This part may take work as you will want to find the right person to help you along.

Another action you can take to discover how to save your marriage is to seek resources.  The web, a book, or other resource may be the ticket to avoiding a divorce.  This is something we’ll get into further as we discuss various situations and what products or resources may assist best based on the areas that need focused on.

There are some excellent books and articles on how to make marriages work, how to re-ignite the spark in a relationship and how a few simple steps can bring back the love in a relationship that had turned hateful. Both partners can get a lot of inspiration, advice and ideas on how to make relationships work from such books and articles.

This is where my personal situation went wrong.  We neglected to even try both of the above.  We didn’t talk to anyone together and we snuffed off ideas of utilizing various resources to get help.  Pride and ego got in the way (for me as a man) and became the demise of everything we had built over 10 years together.

Are you up against a Mt Everest type situation?  Are you having to deal with abuse, affairs, or other issues that are insurmountable?  These can be conquered as well and have been by couples who truly take a stand and make it work.

The process and journey may not be short nor easy.  We all tend to take the easy way out many times in life but sometimes we have to man up, stand our ground, and face the issues in front of us.  Go after it and take back what is yours.  Work hard together and salvage everything you’ve built.  Find the ways to create and add value to each others lives.  Go back to the days when it was exciting and new.  Make it happen.

Your alternatives stink – I promise you that.  Whether you work hard to save your marriage or go for a divorce, you are going to have to endure a process. There is no way around it.  You may be thinking divorce is the best option, but I will tell you from experience it is a long road in and of itself – especially if you have children.

Get the help and right tools/resources and you have a viable shot at saving your marriage now!

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